How to get a killer backside

This could be me, or you, if we don't get our booties to Bikram yoga ASAP! In the event you thought slip on curves was an alternative, here are 10 benefits I have received from Bikram yoga (beyond the obvious - flexibility, peace of mind, a supportive group of yogis... the list is endless).

1. I'm a monster when left to my own devices. All of the sudden the littlest thing is the biggest event in the world when my mind goes formulating on its' own. Bikram has taught me how to react calmly and non emotionally in the face of confrontation. Now when my salad which was specifically ordered without onions is loaded with them, instead of loosing my cool I just pick them out.
2. When the thought "OMG open the freakin door, no way can I possible stay in this hot room in this precarious posture one iota of a second longer" by chance the teacher taps into their telepathy and makes the class wait longer than prescribed. Shockingly, I find that I'm alive and during the second set the reflection in the mirror is of physical and mental strength.
3. I actually breath! Little did I know that my lungs could hold so much oxygen. Apart from practicing pranayama breathing in class, it implements well into all other forms of exercise or even as a way to decrease stress. Amazing how long I can stay under water, run or even blow up birthday balloons without passing out.
4. I have a set of earplugs that conveniently find themselves right where needed. Forget that the busiest cross town street in Manhattan is just a stone throw below the windows, drunks are screaming until wee hours, sirens go off every other minute and the hookah lounge below thinks I want to hear top of the charts (ha-ha) like it was being preformed at the footstool of the bed. Thanks to regulation of the sleep-wake cycle, I'm out for the night.
5. Think of an English bulldog. They are tenacious and stubborn, when they decide they want something consider it done. An increase in concentration and determination are definite side effects of finding one's way through 90 minutes of extreme heat and sometimes unpleasant aromas.
6. I can just be, without fidgeting. No more nail biting, hair twisting or pointless chatter as I have learned that I do not need a drink right this very second, the towel only looks like it needs picked up and the hair flying away is going no where without first the wind draft to move it.
7. No matter what was bothering me before I went into class, forget about it. Once class is finished I feel like a million dollars. Nothing could possibly stand in the way of floating on clouds in the name of relaxation.
8. There are some nasty toxins on the yoga mat. Thank goodness they are NOT in my body any more!
9. Healthy choices extend outside of class. Texans love Mexican food. However, a burrito stuck like a ton of bricks in the belly really causes problems that look like a small baby lodged right about mid section and kicks like a full grown soccer player right simultaneously as the instructor says "suck in your abs." Instead I save it and the tequila shots for the holidays with the family.
10. The ultimate reason - Bikram yogis have a hell of a booty! The view from the back row of class is priceless. (The distraction is just so that have to I resort to the front row!)

No one wants to have to resort falsities in any form, but if that is your chosen path these knickers in the photo are on sale for $9.99 at a your nearest fashion crisis retailer.

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Bikram Yoga LES